'stuff white people like' is not funny.

i've tried, really very sincerely tried, to appreciate "stuff white people like". i just can't. it isn't funny, or brilliantly written, or even all that relevant to white people. it is, however, a complete guide to the preferences of the common north american hipster faggot in a blazer.

maybe i'm just black inside, and i hate white people. i don't really know anymore.


staying sick.

so it's not so much that i'm sick again, as it is that i'm staying sick. i think my renal system caved in to the power of what the fuck ever is living in seattle's disgusting tap water. i can't tell if i have a fever because the thermometer's battery died. it never worked right anyway cuz it's a $2 piece of shit from cvs. i decided to see what i could with a meat thermometer stuck under one of my gargantuan tits; it went just above 100 so whatever.

speaking of tits, did i mention i outgrew DD a while back? i seem to be DDD or F or something now, and it kind of freaks me out. maybe it'll be cancer next year. i shouldn't be growing at this age. then again, i shouldn't be dealing with most of the shit i'm dealing with at this age anyway.

back on point, seattle's tap water is actually not the wonderful liquid ambrosia treehuggers would have you believe. it's a vile fucking putrid ooze that never clears and tastes like a combination of chlorine, rust, sugar, and lies. it doesn't seem to matter whether filtered, as it stays hazy and tastes off all the time anyway. i actually ran filtered water from a refrigerator dispenser through another brita filter, and it STILL stayed fucking cloudy and tasted like garbage. it's no fucking mystery as to why i keep having these health problems. same shit happened to me when i was little, before we got delivered bottled water.

so all you fuckheads that insist tap water is "totally awesome man!" need to drop dead.



so how's about that broad that pooped out eight homunculi on top of her six other homunculi? i don't think a single one of their conceptions involved direct penile contact. i read she was obsessed with maternity and being pregnant and wanted like a dozen kids. i have an easier time understanding cannibal orgies and sanskrit, to be honest.

the other day, scott talked to a weird friend of his who spawned last year or the year before, i don't remember. he asked scott if he'd spawned with me yet. he might as well have asked him if the earth spun left last night.

at any rate, you know you're getting old when you previously would have said, "if there's a god, he'll strike all the duggars and octocrotch dead, all at once", but now can only say, "goddamnit, i wonder how much of my income is going to their SSI and WIC checks."



spore players sure do like penises

i think my renal system is back to normal and has stopped trying to secede from my horrible body. what the fuck is wrong with seattle's water supply? it reeks of rust and chlorine all the time and even after it's filtered, it retains the funk and tastes like shit. i wonder if that's how i got infected in the first place. in any case i have got to stop manufacturing kidney stones. my ureters must be like leather by now.

i thought it would feel weird to be completely alone while sebastard went to NAMM, but it doesn't. judy arrives tomorrow and the mother of an old friend of mine happened to pop up in tacoma, trying to get in touch. my reaction was initially something like "i'm always surrounded by people!". i guess when you spend most of your time alone and barely speaking, you get used to it.

they're doing work downstairs again. my reaction to that is as you might expect: goddamnit i hope they don't finish it any time soon. i don't want neighbors just yet.

it's kind of hard to believe i still have a livejournal.